Friday, 30 December 2011
Wednesday, 28 December 2011
Monday, 26 December 2011
Sunday, 25 December 2011
Saturday, 24 December 2011
Thursday, 22 December 2011
Check this out jazz detractors and try detracting to this. Not possible. Genius and I love it. Note also that we see for the very first time a trumpeter (scroll to 11.00 minutes in) substituting his instrument for a salad cream dispenser. I think he would have learnt from this experiment that you should wash out the dispenser before playing it - you'll see him lick his lips and pull back from the dispenser, having consumed a quantity of salad cream you might baulk at had you applied it to a bunch of lettuce.
Friday, 16 December 2011
Thursday, 15 December 2011
Tuesday, 13 December 2011
Monday, 12 December 2011
Chopin is merely Lieutenant Pigeon without the lyrics. Watch the clip (above) of Lieutenant Pigeon performing ‘Mouldy Old Dough’. Then listen to Chopin Nocturne Op.9 No.2 with the Mouldy Old Dough Lyric incorporated (below). Then listen back again to Lieutenant Pigeon. Etc.
What could Chopin have called this opus? Something French one would imagine to go with all his other stuff. Let’s work this through, then. ‘Dough’ is premature bread, so let us translate it as ‘avant pain’, quite literally, ‘before bread’. We know that ‘old’ is ‘vieille’ in the sub-English Channel (La Manche) nation’s lingo, so we have ‘Avant pain vieille’ for ‘old dough’. Mouldy is manky, which already sounds a bit French. Hence the piece may be titled: ‘Chopin Avant Pain Manky Vieille Op.8 No.1’.
Saturday, 10 December 2011
Tuesday, 6 December 2011
The most popular expressions at Christmas have to be ‘Season’s Greetings’, ‘Merry Christmas’ and ‘I’m just going to get all my presents on Amazon this year.’
The latter is a bloke solution to Christmas shopping whether it’s applied to not being arsed or getting everything cheaper. That blokey attitude goes all the way back to the Three Wise Men. Namely, just buy anything remotely in the area of what might be acceptable, around the theme of a package with something in it.
‘Get some gold – everyone likes gold,’ they would have agreed. And a couple of other things; a couple of stocking fillers. So they do their shopping last minute and meet up briefly before setting off: ‘What did you get?... Really? What’s that?... ‘Frankin-what’ and what?... Doesn’t matter – they can always take it back. You did get a receipt?’
Blokes’ way of thinking is that it’ll be alright as long as you get something, it’s a bloody present isn’t it? It’s the getting, not the giving. The receiver’s going to say it’s just what they always wanted anyway. Result. Merry Christmas.
Amazon has a ‘Customers who viewed this also viewed’ section on their website, marketing items similar to the ones you checked out on their site. They could go further and tap into another blokey sentiment at Christmas; introduce another section titled ‘Here’s some things that you like that you could gift your loved ones and use if they don’t like them’.