Thursday 26 January 2012

Friday 20 January 2012

Triple Jumping for Joy

A depressed-looking triple jumper.

Miffed marbles players, hacked-off hockey players, pissed-off polo horsemen and horseladies. All sports people are prone to depression. But the worst afflicted have to be the triple jumpers. When you’re low, the last thing you feel like doing is skipping and that’s exactly one-third (33.33%) of the tasks demanded in the triple jump, otherwise known as the ‘hop, skip and jump’. Picture this scenario at an athletics meet:
‘What was that?’ demands the depressed triple jumpers’ coach after a sub-standard attempt.
‘I don’t know. Don’t feel like skipping. I’m fed up,’ retorts the triple jumper skulking off.
‘You hopped and then you jumped. You didn’t even make the sandpit.’ (CLICK ON 'Read more' LINK, BELOW)

Monday 16 January 2012

Fart Imitating Life

The default singing accent in pop music is American. And for a reason. Had Art Garfunkel sung ‘Bright Eyes’ in a South African accent, it would have been a quite different song. Instead of a requiem, a lament, a tribute to a life passed, it would have been more about the passing of wind… the disappointment of the brief flame created by setting light to a fart (see clip for confirmation).

Friday 13 January 2012

Familiar Faeces

The default singing accent in pop music is American. And for a reason. Had the band Tears for Fears sung ‘Mad World’ in a Scottish accent it would have been quite a different song. Instead of a soul-search for the meaning of life, it would have been about a sewage engineer trying to sort out a pipe blockage (see clip, below, for confirmation).

Monday 9 January 2012

Public Enema No.1

How the slightest change in singing style might radically transform the message of a protest song - from the dangers of swallowing spoon-fed propaganda, to the way an enema is applied.

Thursday 5 January 2012

Table Tennis Elbow

We think of people taking smack cocaine on dirty mattresses first getting into drugs smoking marijuana tablets; or accidentally sniffing Pritt Stick in Arts and Crafts lessons; or through preparing to compete in the men’s 100 metres. Similarly, table tennis is a gateway sport encouraging people to become addicted to the full-fledged ‘furniture-less’ tennis.

A tennis pusher grooming through table tennis.
 (CLICK ON 'Read more' LINK, BELOW)