Sunday 27 November 2011

Gorilla Filmmaking

Gorillas in the Mist was a big Hollywood hit which centred on the true story of an American biologist campaigning against the poaching of Rwandan gorillas. And she was right to do so. Surely there is a better way of cooking them?

A pivotal scene in 'Gorillas in the Fog'.

Films can be massively expensive and risky enterprises. Sequels are less risky, perhaps, because they follow a success. So, to make the cheapest surefire blockbuster, perhaps it’s time to look at what could be done to cut the budgets on these. Enter ‘Gorillas in the Fog’. (CLICK ON 'Read more' LINK, BELOW)

Friday 25 November 2011

The Tapestry Never Lies

Before photography, visual records of historical events could be covered by a tapestry. Perhaps the most celebrated, is the Bayeux Tapestry, knocked up to chronicle the shenanigans leading up to the Battle of Hastings.
Fig. 1a
Similar to photography, where it’s been possible to airbrush people from history, tapestry makers have been able to unpick people from history. But the similarities don’t stop there. The Bayeux Tapestry is a kind of haberdasher’s documentary. In one scene, we see someone doing that thing you do when you want to be hilarious and original at the same time by posing for a shot with two fingers behind somebody else’s head (fig. 1a).  (CLICK ON 'Read more' LINK, BELOW)

Sunday 20 November 2011

Nelson Mandela and Menu Apartheid

Apartheid is neither dead or buried. Those cafes that price their wares at higher Eat In prices than the Take Away are offering a platform to the patron who can laugh in the face of the Taker Away-er who doesn’t feel like he can justify forking out the extra to sit down and consume. Have those cafes not learnt anything from what happened in South Africa? About Nelson Mandela? The Spice Girls who met him and urged Mandela to never lose sight, after 27 years’ incarceration, of the struggle for girl power (see clip, below)?

The Eater In-er is in effect paying the higher tariff to rent, to linger at a property i.e. the café premises. It is perhaps the cheapest shot they can muster if they want to lord it over another claiming that technically speaking they have a very temporary and infrequent second-home every time they fork out for Eat In. (CLICK ON 'Read more' LINK, BELOW)

Thursday 17 November 2011

‘A Brie Encounter’ and Other Cheesy Films

You can’t respect or trust the film recommendations of video store employees (VSEs) unless there is within the store a distinct whiff of socks. It has long been argued that there are two sides of the brain, one side used for creative thought, the other for logic… or is that the other way round? Is the other side for creativity and something else...? Anyway, we’re either good at one or the other way of thinking. Similarly, VSEs have a capacity for film dissertation over foot hygiene. One side of their brain makes poignant remarks about the use of mise en scene in the Manchurian Candidate, the other says I don’t have to wash these socks tonight; I’ve only worn them three days in a row. (CLICK ON 'Read more' LINK, BELOW)

Monday 14 November 2011

Football Pimps

Football is a simple game. The club with the wealthiest backer buys the best players to buy the league title. The top football clubs have owners made wealthy on oil (Manchester City and Chelsea), steel (QPR), and interestingly, the 1970’s detective show Starsky and Hutch (Manchester United). It was the latter team’s American owner, Mr Glazer who starred in the show fighting crime in a very big cardigan (see clip).

The oligarch owners are becoming increasingly unpopular with their teams’ fans, accused of putting business interests above passion for the club. But Mr Glazer, for one, flies to Manchester at least more than never each season to watch his investment play. This is him talking to another executive in the hospitality suite: (CLICK ON 'Read more' LINK, BELOW)

Thursday 10 November 2011

Nickers of Knickers

Not so far back in history, saying you were working online meant you were a knicker thief. Now working online can still mean you’re taking off knickers but not necessarily from a clothes line and you’re a lady charging for the service at a premium telephone rate on the internet.
As far as we know the knickers removal sees the lady reunited with the garment so in this instance theft is uncorroborated. And we assume the knickers belonged to her in the first instance. (CLICK ON 'Read more' LINK, BELOW)

Monday 7 November 2011

Space Mission in Car Park

The very first mission to Mars was completed in 2011, simulated in a space module parked up for 18 months in a Moscow research centre’s car park. Sceptics question the validity of the virtual voyage. But virtual is the new reality (isn’t it?).

Neil Armstrong comments: 'This mission is one small step for man, a slight shuffle for mankind.'

This was a well thought-out project, besides. Remember, the first space missions sent dogs up first to see how they liked it. Whereas, the Mars team knew that they could dispense with the preliminary canine trials because they already had good data on how dogs fare in car parks and how important it is to leave a crack in the passenger seat window. (CLICK ON 'Read more' LINK, BELOW)

Thursday 3 November 2011

Steve Jobs iRP

Potential going unheeded happens a lot in human society. But there have been some notable trailblazers. Peter Stringfellow could see that ladies with big knockers would struggle to make it in areas of work such as deep sea diving.
‘By ‘eck, you’ll never sink with those buoyancy floats, loove’, he would say compassionately, and ‘What are you like swinging round a pole?’
‘You mean like being a fireman?’ the top-heavy interviewee would reply.
 ‘Like being a fireman. Aye. They need to ‘ave big chests an’ all.’ (CLICK ON 'Read more' LINK, BELOW)