Friday 25 March 2011

You should plan to wear the socks you most like in the company of your most prolific sock donor

When did you last stop to consider whether you were putting on your socks with a clear strategy in mind? Be honest. And frank. It’s no good saying ‘recently’ if you haven’t. That type of sock wearer is his own worst enemy (and sometimes, if not his own worst enemy, a very bad enemy of someone else if for instance, and taking a historical example, you wore socks and you were Genghis Khan, who went around with a horde rubbing a lot of people up the wrong way on a small horse).

We can all point to our most prolific sock donor (and especially if they are next to you in a well-lit room). They are usually a grandmother or an in-law but rarely both unless you come from the Appalachians (where you probably wouldn’t be able to work out how to put on socks, in any case). (CLICK ON 'Read more' LINK, BELOW)

Say to yourself before you approach the sock drawer (bearing in mind that most approaches to the sock drawer are statistically biased towards the morning period – although you don’t have to), and make your selection: is my sock donor going to see me in these? The answer will most probably be ‘yes’ if the donor is to visit you that day in your own home. This is historically a time before that brief period when you walk around in your shoes just before you go out. (Very few people get out of bed and stick their shoes on straight away and if it was the case that more people did, they shouldn't.) 
You're putting out a very strong message when you wear socks. To somebody like your gran, you're saying 'You I recognise as a relentless and seasoned and proven sock donor. You see me now wearing these socks you bought me earlier and you make a value judgement that I am wearing these above any of the other pairs I have received from you because I have a preference for beige acrylic'. Wear your best socks in front of your granny. Inform. Sow the seeds. See what you get for Christmas next year.

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