Love Eggs and Self-Service

This was how the discussion went when self-service checkouts were first mooted in a supermarket executive board meeting:

‘People won’t want to serve themselves at supermarkets.’

‘They will if they heard how the girl says “Cash”.’

Which girl?’

‘The one who does all the voice-overs for the checkouts. Listen to this (light clunking sound of tape recorder button being pressed): ‘Insert cash or touch 'Pay with Card.’

 ‘Whoa! That made me feel like…’

Yeah, go on. Feel like what?’

‘Well it made me feel like I don’t know – grabbing a retail item, swiping it, making a beeping noise.’

‘See? That’s what I’m talking about.’

‘Who is that girl? She says ‘cash’, but she doesn’t just ‘say’ it…’

‘She gushes. She injects jubilation, triumph, an uplifting sense of just saying something, a word, whatever the word, doesn’t matter. Like she imagined that the word she said immediately before it was the last word she ever expected to say. Then saying ‘cash’ is this one enormous bonus.’

‘Her delivery – it’s like a, like a verbal cuddle’.

‘I like that. And there’s more. Check out how she delivers this piece on an unexpected item in the bagging area…’ (CLICK ON 'Read more' LINK, BELOW)

It’s since been heavily suspected that the voice of the self-service checkout girl is indeed that of teen programming broadcaster Margherita Taylor. Listen here to her clip on exam revision tips.

Around the 1.06 (timecode) mark she purrs: ‘Post-it Notes’. It’s highly charged. It’s ecstatic. It’s no coincidence that Margharita Taylor is the first person able to put so much euphoria into what she’s saying out of a sexual context and without the use of love eggs.