Hip Hop Don't Start

The non-mysogynist Monty Don.

One hears of West Coast rappers and East Coast rappers, but is the rap world a little too geographically exclusive? There could, for instance, be some very decent ‘spitters’ of lyrics living in the hinterland, not considered ‘seaboard’ enough. The problem for those with a smaller deposit (the ‘less bling’ in hip hop financial terms) is that it’s quite difficult securing a mortgage on a property on prime coastal real estate. Though estate agents can offer some help. They’re very good at the dressing up language:

‘How about this, I’ve got a five bedroom villa slightly more your budget, set back a little bit from the sea front. How do you feel about that?’

‘Ain’t exactly West Coast. I dunno man. How’s that goin’ down in my rhymes?’

‘Yes, I thought you could do, erm, instead of “I’m from the West Coast”, something like “I’m from the hinterland, Boasting stunning sea views, Just a five minute walk from the beach”…’ (CLICK ON 'Read more' LINK, BELOW)

Rape, Pillage and Estate Agency



A Viking Des Res.

The Vikings named Greenland in an attempt to encourage people to settle there. ‘Green is the new white’ they proposed to get over the fact that Greenland is an island made of glacier. The Viking estate agent hoped to appeal less to the kind of person who nowadays would tune into the TV show ‘Location, Location, Location’, more to a type watching something like a ‘Location, Location, Oh-fuck-it-let’s-just-buy-anywhere’.

‘Come to Greenland*’ would have been the wording to the marketing campaign, the asterisk followed up by a footnote in very small print saying ‘Terms and Conditions apply.’ (CLICK ON 'Read more' LINK, BELOW)