Monday, 6 February 2012

Diving Divas

Diving foreign footballers are often blamed for the ruination of the English game, which makes us wonder what impact imported talent would have on the sport of high diving? Some would say that a career change from football to diving is a natural transition. After all, a certain type of foreign player has not only a highly developed eye-to-foot, but very good arse-to-surface co-ordination. (CLICK ON 'Read more' LINK, BELOW)

Adjusting from one sport to another is nevertheless never easy. We could imagine Cristiano Ronaldo feeling the confusion. The time you ask him to dive, he would probably try and play football – a sequence of mid-air step-overs before taking the plunge. A dive resembling a ballerina doing one of those corkscrewing leg thrash jumps they do, but in freefall. Could be good, though, a fresh routine. Or it could go another way. Ronaldo could just put into practice exactly what he does on the football field. He could execute the perfect dive, only to drop points massively on a bomb-like splash upon entry; his coach going up to him as he emerges from the pool:
‘Cristy boy! What happened? Beautiful right up to the… what did I tell you about your hands on entry? – pointing, pointing; arms outstretched. Now get up there. You got two more goes. Get out the bloody habit of this clutching your face!’
All in all, returning to the original statement, football in England has benefitted greatly from the influx of foreign players. They have shown our native lot that it is possible to be a footballer and speak English.

No comments:

Post a comment