Thursday 28 July 2011

That's Organic Peanuts!

‘That’s peanuts’, we say when we’re talking about piffling amounts, drops in the ocean. Or we say ‘that’s peanuts’ if we are confirming the presence of peanuts. Or we’re making a distinction between them and chickpeas, which look a bit like peanuts (though, really, we shouldn’t because chickpeas resemble more the hazelnut). (CLICK ON 'Read more' LINK, BELOW)

What amount is considered peanuts has been very subjective up until now, now that we have organic (see article 'Know Your Organic Paraguayan Melons. May 2011. in the blog archive for more on organic stuff) peanuts that only wealthy people without an allergy can afford. And so it’s possible to gauge more accurately any one person’s financial status when they exclaim, ‘That’s peanuts!’ You ask them, ‘Do you mean organic peanuts or the normal ones?’ If they say ‘organic’, then it’s clear that that person is less well off because their version of the worth of peanuts is relatively higher. ‘That’s organic peanuts!’ they could say alternatively, to shortcut the whole process of means testing their statement. Or they could say, ‘That’s organic chickpeas!’ if they were to mistake the identity of the peanuts because they had received a lower standard of unpaid education.


  1. Dear Tiny Bang, On more than one occasion I have been paid peanuts fortunately not organic I might add. That would imply I received a lower standard of unpaid education and my ability was worth less than that of a monkey. If one assumes that if you pay peanuts you get monkeys surely there is an argument that if you paid organic peanuts you might get a weasel, snake in the grass or half wit. Using the peanut scale in a similar way to the Beaufort scale that is to say an empirical scale I figure you should be able the pay Honey Roasted Peanuts for a decent tradesman who's served an indentured apprentice.

  2. If you pay peanuts you get monkeys. It's true, but it did cut down the wages bill when space missions sent a monkey into outer orbit.